Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Lessons I've Learned from Past Relationships

Talking to my friend, Catie, a couple weeks ago really helped me to let go of a recent break-up/friendship ending. Of course, I don't think I can truly let it all go until I've been apologized to about how I was treated in the break-up/how it happened. Believe me, I'm better off without the dude, but I hate friendships ending and finding out who is your true friend. I seem to lose a friend every year simply because I find out they are not who I thought they would be or they don't treat me like a friend. It really helped when I told Catie some of the things I learned from my last two relationships. The following excerpts are from our Facebook conversation.

-If I learned anything, I have learned to stay away from guys like that [referring to guys that have ego problems and severe insecurity issues] and that I will.
-I will also not believe the words "I'm not like everyone else." yeah, okay because that's not overused. I'll only believe it until it's been proven and shown to me.
-I've also learned that I will never EVER get on the back of a motorcycle with someone who has and/or A.) had their license suspended for too many speeding tickets or traffic violations B.) has less than 2 years of experience on a motorcycle unless they've grown up in a motorcycle family like mine or C.) Is my dad or my brothers.
-Most importantly I've learned from dbag 1, staying with someone because you feel sorry for them or think you can help them does not do anyone any good.
-And I've learned to not date people who have serious issues with their family and that can't stand up to their mother when their girlfriend's flight got cancelled on Easter because a tornado damaged the airport (not to be specific).
-I've learned that just because someone says they are a cowboy, I cannot believe it until they keep their word, express that they don't know everything, that they are not right all the time, are humble, and don't diss other riding disciplines. In my opinion, real cowboys can ride any horse, any discipline, and should be able to communicate to the horse effectively to get the job done. And real cowboys treat a woman with respect.
-My favorite example of this is the youtube video of the reining horse trainer switches horses with a dressage trainer. It is awesome. And they don't have to TELL everyone they are a cowboy because everyone can already see that they are a cowboy.
-Oh, and I've learned to never date a guy whose favorite band is Rascal Flatts.
-Or  one that claims they don't like pcitures taken of themselves because it's really a sign that they really mean "I just don't want to be in a picture with you."
-I've also learned that if my suspicions are really, really strong about something then they are true and I should listen to my intuition.

Of course, I have learned more from my relationships about who I am, what I am looking for, what I tolerate and what I don't. I sincerely believe that you can judge a man's character from how he treats his animals. I refuse to date anyone who beats their animals to listen to them. I should've not tolerated this. When I say "beats", I mean being more aggressive in training. I would never be with someone who mistreats animals. Also, I love the quote that says, "If your dog doesn't like someone then you probably shouldn't either."

I know what "red flags" to look for and listen to. No more benefit of the doubt for me. I'm done with bullshit. One sign of control freak, tobacco user, and pompous asshole and I'm done.

I believe there is someone out there perfect for me-perfectly flawed and perfectly awesome. Until that person comes and sweeps me off my feet and we ride into the sunset, I'm going to enjoy being single. People forget how fun single life can be. I can do whatever I want, when I want and not receive 100 text messages/phone calls wondering where I'm at! It's awesome!