Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Lessons I've Learned from Past Relationships

Talking to my friend, Catie, a couple weeks ago really helped me to let go of a recent break-up/friendship ending. Of course, I don't think I can truly let it all go until I've been apologized to about how I was treated in the break-up/how it happened. Believe me, I'm better off without the dude, but I hate friendships ending and finding out who is your true friend. I seem to lose a friend every year simply because I find out they are not who I thought they would be or they don't treat me like a friend. It really helped when I told Catie some of the things I learned from my last two relationships. The following excerpts are from our Facebook conversation.

-If I learned anything, I have learned to stay away from guys like that [referring to guys that have ego problems and severe insecurity issues] and that I will.
-I will also not believe the words "I'm not like everyone else." yeah, okay because that's not overused. I'll only believe it until it's been proven and shown to me.
-I've also learned that I will never EVER get on the back of a motorcycle with someone who has and/or A.) had their license suspended for too many speeding tickets or traffic violations B.) has less than 2 years of experience on a motorcycle unless they've grown up in a motorcycle family like mine or C.) Is my dad or my brothers.
-Most importantly I've learned from dbag 1, staying with someone because you feel sorry for them or think you can help them does not do anyone any good.
-And I've learned to not date people who have serious issues with their family and that can't stand up to their mother when their girlfriend's flight got cancelled on Easter because a tornado damaged the airport (not to be specific).
-I've learned that just because someone says they are a cowboy, I cannot believe it until they keep their word, express that they don't know everything, that they are not right all the time, are humble, and don't diss other riding disciplines. In my opinion, real cowboys can ride any horse, any discipline, and should be able to communicate to the horse effectively to get the job done. And real cowboys treat a woman with respect.
-My favorite example of this is the youtube video of the reining horse trainer switches horses with a dressage trainer. It is awesome. And they don't have to TELL everyone they are a cowboy because everyone can already see that they are a cowboy.
-Oh, and I've learned to never date a guy whose favorite band is Rascal Flatts.
-Or  one that claims they don't like pcitures taken of themselves because it's really a sign that they really mean "I just don't want to be in a picture with you."
-I've also learned that if my suspicions are really, really strong about something then they are true and I should listen to my intuition.

Of course, I have learned more from my relationships about who I am, what I am looking for, what I tolerate and what I don't. I sincerely believe that you can judge a man's character from how he treats his animals. I refuse to date anyone who beats their animals to listen to them. I should've not tolerated this. When I say "beats", I mean being more aggressive in training. I would never be with someone who mistreats animals. Also, I love the quote that says, "If your dog doesn't like someone then you probably shouldn't either."

I know what "red flags" to look for and listen to. No more benefit of the doubt for me. I'm done with bullshit. One sign of control freak, tobacco user, and pompous asshole and I'm done.

I believe there is someone out there perfect for me-perfectly flawed and perfectly awesome. Until that person comes and sweeps me off my feet and we ride into the sunset, I'm going to enjoy being single. People forget how fun single life can be. I can do whatever I want, when I want and not receive 100 text messages/phone calls wondering where I'm at! It's awesome!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Let's All Just be Friggin' Honest for Once

"Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom."- Thomas Jefferson 

“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.”- Spencer Johnson

"As I have said, the first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself... Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility.”-Nelson Mandela

“Honesty: The best of all the lost arts”- Mark Twain

“Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained...”- Lao Tzu

“Better an honest enemy than a false friend” -German Proverb

Friday, July 08, 2011

What Makes a True "Cowboy"?

I have been pondering this since many boys these days think they are real "cowboys". Here's a reality check: YOU ARE NOT A TRUE COWBOY. Real cowboys are MEN who are humble and have integrity. They treat women with respect and are honest. Real cowboys have enough gonads to look a woman straight in the eye and tell her how he feels. A real cowboy respect his horse and livestock. He's the one watering and feeding his animals before he, himself, eats. He's the first one out riding fence in the morning and the last one to leave. Real cowboys live by the Code of the West:

  • Live each day with courage.
    "A man wanting in courage would be as much out of place in a cow-camp as a fish on dry land. Indeed the life he is daily compelled to lead calls for the existence of the highest degree of cool calculating courage."—Texas Livestock Journal (1882) . 
  • Real courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.

  • Take pride in your work.
    The cowboy is often portrayed as being unlettered and unskilled ~ a common laborer in spurs. In the cowboy's own mind, he was no mere work hand, but a cavalier ~ a knight of the plains sitting tall in the saddle. — Cowboy Ethics by James P Owen (2004) 
  • Cowboying doesn't build character, it reveals it.

  • Always finish what you start.
    "No cowboy ever quit while his life was hardest and his duties were most exacting." J. Frank Dobie in A Vaquero of the Brush Country (1929). 
  • When you are riding through hell…keep riding.

  • Do what has to be done.
    Whenever there is [trouble], we'll depend on ourselves. We'll take care of it ~ when it comes, not after it is too late" James Will  in The American Cowboy (1942). 
  • The true test of a man's honor was how much he would risk to keep it in tact.

  • Be tough, but fair.
    "I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them." John Wayne in his last film "The Shootist: (1976). The Golden Rule was nothing less than a key to survival.

  • When you make a promise, keep it.
    A man is only as good as his word.

  • Ride for the brand.
    "They were intensely loyal to the outfit they were working for and would fight to the death for it. They would follow their wagon boss through hell and never complain." Teddy Blue Abbott in "We Point them North" (1939).  
  • The cowboy's greatest devotion was his calling and his way of life.

  • Talk less and say more.
    When there is nothing more to say, don't be saying it.

  • Remember that some things aren't for sale.
    To the cowboy, the best things in life aren't things.

  • Know where to draw the line.
    "'Good fences make good neighbors,' wrote the New England poet, Robert Frost. But out West, people looked at things differently. On the open range, the boundaries people needed to get along were set by the shared standards of right and wrong. Those boundaries were as good as fences because everyone knew where they were." There's right and there's wrong, and nothing in between.
  • Excerpt from a book by James P. Owen, Cowboy Ethics — What Wall Street Can Learn from the Code of the West (2004, published by Stoecklein Publishing & Photography, ISBN 1-931153-95-7). From Louis L'amour book "The Outlaws of the Mesquite", page 123, June 1960.
"One of the things you didn't do in the west was bother a woman. It rarely happened." 

"If a woman got off a stage at a stage-stop to get something to eat, and a man did not get up to give her a place at the table, somebody else knocked him off the seat so she could be seated. You couldn't even bump into a woman walking in the street without somebody knocking you into the ground for it."

"Women were treated with great respect and this was universal all over the frontier. It was one thing you didn't transgress."

 I realize times have changed and generational change has occurred, but c'mon! Whatever happened to opening car doors and regular doors for ladies.Whatever happened to respect for one another? What ever happened to trust and honest? Today's generation, my generation, has no morals or convictions. If they do, it's a rarity. I digress...that's a whole other post. I found a quote last week that is my new life mottto for me and anyone who associates with me because I know I'm a complex human being:

"If you can't handle the ride, then don't climb into the chute."

...and I made this up today when I was talking to Catie. I'll leave you with this:

 "Don't prod the embers, if you can't handle the flame!"

    Saturday, July 02, 2011

    Found this in an old e-mail

    1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
    2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
    3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'
    4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
    5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
    6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
    7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
    8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
    9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
    10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
    11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
    12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
    13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
    14. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
    15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
    16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
    17. Forgive everyone for everything.
    18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
    19. GOD heals everything.
    20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
    21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!
    22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
    23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
    24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

    Maya Angelou Wisdom

    When Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
    And, there on television, she said it was 'exciting...'

    Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.

    The audience laughed so hard they cried.. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

    Maya Angelou said this:

    'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

    'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

    'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

    'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

    'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

    'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'

    'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

    'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

    'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.....'

    'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn..'

    'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

    Sunday, June 12, 2011

    Goals and Mission

    Governing Values and Goals

    1.       Education- I have remained determined and focused on completing my education. I am continuously looking for opportunities that allow me to grow intellectually, emotionally, and physically.
    -Intermediate Goals:
    ·         Write and defend my thesis in order to graduate in December
    ·         Seek out and land a job as a 4-H/Equine Extension Agent anywhere
    -Long-term Goals:
    ·         If current job is not in my desired location (Colorado/Western States) then I will find a job in desired location within 2-3 years
    ·         Take continuing education classes in order to stay current with the industry
    ·         Get a higher CHA (Certified Horsemanship Assoc.) certification level, and become a member of professional organizations

    2.       Importance of Relationships- I strive to retain healthy relationships with my family, friends, significant others, and authoritarian figures via respect, honesty, and trust.
    -Intermediate Goal:
    ·         Keep balance with my friends and family
    ·         Call, e-mail, or mail my brothers at least once a week
    ·         Maintain a good rapport with my professors and bosses
    ·         Continue to be a good girlfriend
    -Long-term Goals:
    ·         Keep in touch with my closest friends so we will still be friends in the next 20 years no matter the distance between us.
    ·         Never lose touch with my family when the miles between us get greater
    ·         Turn girlfriend status to wife status in the next 5-10 years

    3.       Trustworthiness and Loyalty- I am loyal to my leaders, followers, family, friends, boyfriend,  and my animals. I believe loyalty and trustworthiness go hand-in-hand. I will be loyal and trustworthy everyday by not sharing secrets, gossiping, or talking behind people’s backs.

    4.       Independence- I will retain my independence no matter where I go or who I meet. No one can take my independence away from me. I love space and freedom, but also like company in certain situations.
    -Intermediate Goal:
    ·         To not be afraid to do more things by myself that would normally be cliché by having two or more people like going to see a movie, hiking, going to a festival, etc.
    -Long-term Goal:
    ·         Retain my independence as my life changes in the next 5-10 years (getting a job, hopefully getting married, and starting a family…)

    5.       Leadership- I have always been a leader and am open to new ideas/ways to lead and be a good leader.
    -Intermediate Goals:
    ·         Learn more about leadership than I already know
    ·         Look for opportunities that will help me become a better leader
    -Long-term Goals:
    ·         Take another leadership class through continuing education
    ·         Teach others good leadership skills (4-Hers and/or my future children, friends)
    ·         Never forget that followers shape leaders and without followers we could not have leaders
    ·         Become the well-balanced leader that I want to be
    ·         Be somebody’s role model

    6.       Honesty and Integrity- I cannot lie (okay, little white lies don’t count!) therefore, I am a very honest individual. I’m genuine and real. I can’t be “fake”.  I stay true to my morals, convictions, and beliefs. I stand up for what is right and for what is wrong.

    7.       Durability- It is not easy being me! I do not let others bring me down by using hurtful words and judgments. Throughout my life journey (only 22 years in!), there have been people that have tried to bring me down to their level, but never once did I stoop. Instead, I held my head high and kept moving forward by accomplishing goal after goal. I’m in this journey for the long haul!

    8.       Pride- I am very proud of myself, my family, my friends, my animals, and all of my accomplishments. I am proud of my heritage (3rd generation Polish born in America) and proud of where I am going.
    -Ongoing Goal:
    ·         To be more humble depending on the situation

    9.       Commitment- Once I start a project, I finish it. Even if the project takes weeks, months, or years, I try to do my best to see the project through. I’m also committed to my animals. I take care of them the best that I can and try to return the unconditional love they give to me.

    Mission Statement
    My life's journey is to teach and educate the leaders and followers of today. Through my future role in Extension, I will help youth gain life skills and knowledge necessary to be successful and happy in life. By teaching others, I will also be learning and growing as learning and teaching are a synchronized continuous process. I will experience many different events along the way, some good and some bad, but I will learn from each experience. I will keep an open-mind, throwing away the junk and archiving the pieces of information I deem valuable.
    I will be a person who my parents, brothers, husband, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren can say always remembers to laugh and smile often. They will say I brighten their day and have made a difference in their life. They will say they love me. They will say I am a good friend, sister, wife, and grandma. They will say that I am determined to reach my goals and have accomplished many things through my life. They will also say that I will reach my goal of being on Walter Scott’s Smucker’s Jar for turning 100.

    What I found on